Saturday, August 12, 2006

Sad Day

It's been a really sad evening for me. I've learned of two deaths in my college family. And I can hardly believe that one is real.

I received my copy of the Amherst notes and learned of the death of my friend Kristin's father. Having lost my mother about 3 years ago, I can relate to what she's going through. Of course, no one's grief is the same but I think you are a little more able to relate if you've had the same experience. But knowing that someone is feeling the same pain I've felt makes me very sad. No one so young should have to go through the loss of a parent. Parents are supposed to embarrass you at your wedding and dote on your children. They are supposed to live to 100 and quietly pass in their sleep. I know that's unlikely for most people. But I really wish that's what Donald, Kristin, Stacey, Kristin, and I had. (Kristin is only the most recent friend of mine to join this dubious club.) I miss my mom terribly. Just the way my friends miss their parents. I wish she would have been at my wedding. And, a few years from now, I'll wish she'd seen the births of my children. That they would know I am who I am because of her. And that she was amazing. (even when I was mad at her)

The second piece of bad news comes from New York. Donald was on the track team with me at Amherst. His beautiful and brilliant wife Caroline was diagnosed with brain cancer in March of 2005. She passed away this past Thursday. In college, Donald love for Caroline was always clear. He adored her completely. They had to live apart after college to attend their respective medical schools. Even though Don was in Columbus and Caroline was in NYC, he never stopped thinking about her. Before he proposed, he showed me her engagement ring and asked if it was OK. Of course, it was lovely. They graduated Amherst 2 years before me. That makes them 31 or 32. It's really not fair that their love affair should end so soon. I can't imagine the pain of losing your spouse when it seems your whole life lies in front of you. Brian looked at me and said, "I don't know what I would do." I would surely be destroyed. Donald, I'm thinking about you. Right now, I fear, that's the best I can do.


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